This is something I've grown up hearing time and time again. It might not have been exactly those words, but I constantly had friends and family pointing out positives and success's, while I could only dwell on negatives and failures. The truth is I viewed myself as myself as someone who wasn't good enough. Good enough for what you might ask. It didn't matter the circumstance, I found flaws that caused doubt and insecurities. Could I be in honors classes throughout school? No way, not smart enough. Should I ask that awesome girl out? Not a chance, she is way out of my league. Can I make the varsity basketball team this year? I'm not skilled enough to succeed. It got to the point where insecurity controlled my life causing me to turtle and hide in things that where comfortable (shell) and not take risks, for fear of failure. The worst part was I got the mindset that I wasn't good enough for God. I literally thought that I couldn't have a relationship with him until I fixed myself. It was my sophomore year when thankfully my mom snapped me out of this mindset when she lovingly confronted me about not being at church, she basically said that God accepts me for who I am, and will help me get through my struggles, what a relief!
Over the past couple years, I've grown significantly less insecure and more confident, that being said though even in great times of strength we still regress. Over the past year I've regressed some due to multiple failures and frustrations. These failures range from failing my certification test multiple times to failed relationships. Yes these things set me back, but God was there to scoop me up and help me get back on track stronger than before! I sit here writing this as a middle school teacher (well almost). If you told me five years from now that I would be a middle school teacher, I would of said you had fallen off your rocker. But God has been the every step of the way supplying me with the strength and confidence I need daily.
Two figures in history that I find similarities in are Moses and Abraham Lincoln, they both have impacted me because of similar struggles. Moses was called by God to free Israel from bondage, but even though he viewed himself as incapable, God used him anyways! Abraham Lincoln was a man who overcame multiple failures and doubts to become president and change society forever by abolishing slavery. Now I don't see myself freeing a nation from bondage or being imortalized in history books, but I do realize that God has put an amazing opportunity in front of me to educate and mentor future youths for years to come and because of this I'm soooooc pumped!! God took a timid insecure wreck and made me into a teacher, imagine what he can do in your life! The answer to the question at the beginning is a resounding yes. Yes I'm a masterpiece of God's who will continue to grow as God works through me. I will wrap up by quoting 2 Peter 1:3 "God's divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
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